Below are some ‘red flag’ questions for pushy parenting.
- Do you plan the practice or playing schedule for your child without time allotted for other activities, and without consulting your child?
- Do you make plans, arrangements and commitments for your child that may affect other people, including family members, without input from others?
- Do you make decisions about your child’s golfing without considering their age and developmental stage, and without checking in with them?
- Do you criticise your child’s performance to motivate them to work harder?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might not yet be achieving the balanced approach that will allow your child to reach their potential as a human being, rather than just a golfer. It may be worth stopping to reflect on your child’s journey through golf, rather than any future outcomes.
Read the reflections below to consider how your behaviour may impact on your child's development.
- What stage of life is your child at? Does you child have the time and space to enjoy each stage?
- Do you know what your child wants from golf?
- Does your child have goals? Are they the same as yours?
- Does your child behave in an age-appropriate away? Will they cope with the demands of the sport when you’re not there to help?
- Do you value all aspects of your child’s development and nature, not just their ability to perform certain tasks?
- Does your golfing child have siblings? How does the extra time spent on golf affect them?
It is important that your child enjoys the whole experience of becoming a golfer. Consider this advice from sports psychologist Dave Feigley:
“If your goals are too narrow, too high, too focused, too soon, it’s a prescription for trouble in the long run. If you don’t make it all the way to your goal, you still have two-thirds of your life left to live, so you’d better enjoy the process. If it takes four thousand steps to get to the Olympics but you only make three thousand of them, this is not a failure; you’ve come a long way and learned many things.”